Your story resonates with me a lot. I had a traumatic birth and post-birth experience with my third baby (and even with my first when I had a “plan” for a natural birth, read all the books, took the class, hired the doula, I ended up with a surprise breech baby at 41 weeks that resulted in a cesarean section).
None of my birth experiences have gone according to my plan and it has been a journey to let go of the expectations I had, and honestly is still a journey.
With my third being a traumatic birth, I was a bit caught off guard that on his first birthday, I was still holding onto a lot of that trauma in my body, and it was like somehow my body knew the anniversary of that experience was approaching, and it was hard. I know we all experience things so differently, so that might be different from your experience, but whatever it is, try to give yourself extra grace and kindness as you go through the anniversary of your birth experience.
Not sure if you know this or not, but I too had a pretty complicated birth with Hannah as well and I also believe that hospital births are the way to go.When I went in to have her that morning, little did I know or dream that i would end up in ICU with what turned out to be an inverted uterus. I had 9 blood transfusions and ended up on a ventilator after an emergency partial hysterectomy.I am so thankful I was somewhere that I could be immediately taken care of. The best part of my story is that Hannah was fine and had no complications, but she also could have easily have had to grow up without me. I know we don't have the perfect answers and we make decisions the best way we can for our families, but glad I was where I was.
Your story resonates with me a lot. I had a traumatic birth and post-birth experience with my third baby (and even with my first when I had a “plan” for a natural birth, read all the books, took the class, hired the doula, I ended up with a surprise breech baby at 41 weeks that resulted in a cesarean section).
None of my birth experiences have gone according to my plan and it has been a journey to let go of the expectations I had, and honestly is still a journey.
With my third being a traumatic birth, I was a bit caught off guard that on his first birthday, I was still holding onto a lot of that trauma in my body, and it was like somehow my body knew the anniversary of that experience was approaching, and it was hard. I know we all experience things so differently, so that might be different from your experience, but whatever it is, try to give yourself extra grace and kindness as you go through the anniversary of your birth experience.
Sending love to you.
Not sure if you know this or not, but I too had a pretty complicated birth with Hannah as well and I also believe that hospital births are the way to go.When I went in to have her that morning, little did I know or dream that i would end up in ICU with what turned out to be an inverted uterus. I had 9 blood transfusions and ended up on a ventilator after an emergency partial hysterectomy.I am so thankful I was somewhere that I could be immediately taken care of. The best part of my story is that Hannah was fine and had no complications, but she also could have easily have had to grow up without me. I know we don't have the perfect answers and we make decisions the best way we can for our families, but glad I was where I was.