Do You Love Yourself Enough to Ask Hard Questions?
Do you love yourself? Perhaps the more important question is: do you even know yourself?
Before we can say that we love ourselves (and mean it), we must really get to know ourselves. Think about it … you don’t go around proclaiming love for someone that you barely know.
And the only way to get to know someone (yourself included!) is to ask hard questions.
How well do you really know yourself?
Why do you act the way that you do?
What key experiences have shaped your life’s journey?
Why do you take offense to certain people or things?
What choices did you make that lead you to where you are now, and why did you make them?
Why do you believe what you believe?
Can you sit still long enough to wrestle with these questions?
Are you comfortable keeping yourself company, or are you always reaching outward towards others in order to avoid looking inward?
Moving across the country (twice) and struggling with mental illness has forced me to grapple with hard questions time and time again. Who am I? What matters most in my life? How can I be a good friend — both to myself and others?
Most of the time, I don’t come up with clear answers. But it’s the process of asking the questions, sitting with them, and attempting to uncover the truth that brings me closer to understanding myself as I exist in this world.
When I better understand myself, I can have compassion for myself. And self-compassion is a prerequisite for self-love.
Most people avoid asking hard questions because it’s scary and uncomfortable. So, they paint a smile on their face and keep puttering along. They think that they are “loving” themselves because they feel happy; they believe that all of the answers lie within their comfort zones. For this reason, they never question themselves and their long-held convictions.
I’ll ask again: are you content with being alone? Or are you constantly over-filling your schedule & running away from yourself in order to avoid the hard questions? Can you honestly say that you love yourself — fully & completely?
Today, I can say with confidence that yes — I do love myself. Truly, madly, & deeply.
I don’t shy away from spending time alone, because I actually enjoy my own company. I’m not constantly looking to fill up gaps of time with other people. I take pleasure in myself- in my own thoughts, memories, and experiences.
I’m not afraid to get lost in the deep dark questions because I know that I’ll come back out on the other side.
I am a friend to myself.
I take pride in caring for myself; tending to my own physical/mental/spiritual wounds. I’m more than happy to spend weekends with nothing else but a book, journal, some music and sunshine. I’m content with just me.
Surely, I’ll traverse many more peaks and valleys with myself before this lifetime is over. But one thing is certain: I’m committed to myself. I’ll never abandon me- not for anyone or any thing. My relationship with myself is the most important one I’ve got, and I will honor that.
Because I love myself, I’ll never stop asking the hard questions.