10 Things That Surprised Me About My “Planned” C-Section

Coming to you on the last day of C-section Awareness Month, and during Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week

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Emma Del Rey

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I had planned to write a different post for Cesarean Awareness Month, but my daughter came 3 weeks early. So instead, on the day after my planned C-section was supposed to happen, I’m sharing a few things that surprised me about my C-section birth. 

But first, a few facts about C-sections:

1. Some staunch advocates of natural childbirth don’t consider C-sections to be “real birth.” This undoubtedly contributes to the negative feelings that C-section mamas often feel following their birth experiences. 

2. Despite many claims to the contrary, C-sections are no more dangerous than “natural” birth. In many circumstances, C-sections are the safest delivery option. Did you know that a child’s birth day is the most dangerous day of their life? It’s no wonder then that medical professionals often opt for C-sections in order to mitigate risks.

3. Earlier this year, a baby gorilla was born via C-section for the first time ever in order to save her and her mother’s life. Baby Jameela is now thriving!

Now, back to my personal experience:

12 days ago, my husband and I went to the hospital for extended fetal monitoring at the recommendation of my doctor. There was a questionable “deceleration” on my NST and due to my risk factors (a large baby and excess amniotic fluid), the doctor wanted to be on the safe side. Thankfully, we had just finished packing the hospital bags. My doctor advised me not to eat anything on the off chance that she would need to do my C-section that day.  

Now almost 2 weeks postpartum, I’m reminded of just how much you can’t plan when it comes to birth. Even the smoothest births often contain some element of surprise. 

Without further ado, here are 10 things that surprised me about my C-section:

1. I felt empowered choosing my C-section. After the traumatic birth of my firstborn, and with this second pregnancy happening sooner than expected, I knew from the get-go that I would have a C-section. So I got off of social media, tuned out all the naysayers, and was surprised at how confident I felt about my choice. The surgical option removed a lot of the risks for me and my baby, leaving me with a sense of peace about the whole process. 

2. Despite feeling aligned in my choice, I did experience some guilt over “choosing” my baby’s birthday for her. Voices from the natural childbirth community echoed in my mind, convincing me that I was forcing my baby out before she was ready. But I did end up going into labor that day– on April 17th, when I was 37 weeks pregnant– and Camille came out weighing 8lbs 12oz; slightly heavier than her sister who was past 40 weeks. So, I do think she was somewhat ready even though she needed a little help to make her entrance. 

3. Walking into the OR was jarring. I thought that I knew what to expect, but nothing could have prepared me for the bright lights and sterility of the room. It did not seem like a place for giving birth. I looked around at everyone dressed from head to toe in their PPE, all watching me approach the table with a mixture of concern and determination. This was routine for them, after all. Meanwhile, I felt like a cow being lead to the slaughter. My husband had to wait outside while I got my spinal. Once I started going numb, they laid me down and stretched my arms out to a T, like Jesus on the cross. I looked up into the blinding lights while they prepped my belly— my body a sacrifice at the alter of childbirth. It was very different from my previous birth, unexpected in its own way.

4. The supportiveness of the staff– doctors, nurses, surgical assistants, CRNAs— everyone who interacted with me did their best to ensure that I was comfortable and at ease. Mary, the surgical tech, held my hands while the anesthesiologist and CRNA walked me through the spinal. The nurses encouraged and explained what was happening once they started cutting, saying things like “only 3 more minutes until you see your baby.” 

5. A few things about the spinal block surprised me. First of all, I felt nauseous immediately afterwards (which the doc warned me could happen) and I threw up without warning. This made me a bit panicky, especially because it was before my husband was allowed into the room. Thankfully the team worked quickly to address my discomfort. The second thing that shocked me about the spinal was how much I could still feel. 

6. I felt like I gave birth. While some people don’t believe C-sections “count” as giving birth, I knew that my body was undergoing something physically and emotionally significant in real time. The anesthesia certainly dulled the sensations, but I could still feel strong pulling and tugging throughout the operation as they cut through layers of skin and muscle to get to my baby. Sure, it was different from a vaginal birth— but still just as profound.

7. Minutes before meeting my baby, a sense of peace washed over me. Behind the blue drape, I imagined that I was under water. Time slowed down, and things seemed still and quiet. I was ready to see my baby— a far cry from my previous birth. 

8. My milk came in quickly even though my baby arrived 3 weeks early. You hear lots of stories about C-sections impacting milk supply and breastfeeding, but that was not my experience. In fact, I even got to have a “golden hour” in the post-op room where a nurse monitored us immediately after surgery. My baby latched easily and nursed before she had to go to the NICU (due to fluid in her lungs, a side effect of polyhydramnios). Even during her NICU stay, we were able to establish breastfeeding and things in that department have been pretty smooth ever since. 

9. Recovery has been gnarly. After the surgery, just getting out of bed made my stomach feel like it was going to rip open. Laughing hurt, and coughing hurt even more. When I sneezed I thought they might have to wheel me back to the operating room. Once I got home, I was still retaining so much fluid that my ankles were nonexistent. Now that I’m almost 2 weeks out, I’m improving rapidly. Every day I get a little stronger and can walk a bit further. It’s amazing how my body is adjusting and healing. The belly band really helps! (So does the ibuprofen, stool softener, and hemorrhoid cream  … if you know you know – btw, the first poop after a C-section is just as terrifying as a vaginal birth). I also didn’t anticipate the need for so many pairs of high-waisted underwear and pants to keep pressure off of my incision. Something to be aware of!

10.  I didn’t realize how hard it would be to refrain from picking up my toddler. I pretty much feel like a bump on a log when it comes to caring for her.  I’m not supposed to lift anything heavier than my newborn for 4-6 weeks, so I’m constantly having to refuse my first born when she reaches her little arms up to me. I sit with a pillow on my belly at all times and my husband and mom take turns prying her off of me. She’s getting used to her mama being out of commission, but I can’t help but worry that she won’t want me anymore by the time I am able to pick her up again. 

. . .

So there you have it – some really honest thoughts following my C-section. I wanted to write about how much better my C-section was compared to my previous birth, but truthfully it was a mixed bag. I’m much happier with how things turned out this time and definitely feel less traumatized. Bonding with Camille has been easier, but maybe that’s also because she’s the second born and I have more realistic expectations about it all this time. Who knows. I’m sure I’ll have more to say once I’ve had more time to process.

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you share this with another mama who needs it!